Waktu yang Dinanti

I'm not ready to let you go.

Kita semua mungkin pernah mengalami bagaimana rasanya menyakiti dan disakiti. Kita merasakan bagaimana cinta pernah membawa kita melayang hingga titik tertinggi. Kita juga pernah merasakan bagaimana cinta menjatuhkan kita pada jurang yang sunyi, hanya tersisa kita dan kenangan-kenangan yang susah untuk dihilangkan. Keadaan membuat kita tidak tahu kemana harus melangkah. Ingin rasanya melangkah kembali jika masih mungkin.

---

Tapi mungkin waktu akan membawa cahaya yang baru. Layaknya malam dan pagi. Kita hanya perlu diam dikala malam untuk menunggu hadirnya pagi. Pagi yang akan memberikan cahaya dan membuat kita tahu kemana harus melangkah. Tapi satu hal yang kita tidak tahu ialah; akan selama apakah hingga malam berlalu? Dan seperti apakah wujud pagi yang akan hadir? Apakah pagi yang cerah dengan matahari yang mempesona di langit biru? Apakah pagi berawan dengan beberapa ekor burung yang berkicau? Apakah pagi yang gerimis dengan angin yang berhembus perlahan?

Read More

21st century begin

This birthday looks different to me compared to another 20 I've experienced. Today, I was kind of trying to remember each pieces of birthday I've passed. I'm so grateful today. I feel like I have a lot of beautiful memories and lot of important people in my life. --

I kept my body awake until around 3 am in the morning. Not because of anything. It just because my grandma and my parent said that I was born at around 3 am in the morning and I don't want to miss a second of it in this 21st birthday. I knew I'll have class at 8 am, but well I made it. I came on time and was very sleepy during the class.

I spent the night talking to myself, trying to recall every memories I have. Began with my baby live. I remembered the time I saw my baby pictures on the photograph. I remember nothing about the time when I was baby, but I do save some memories when I was like about 2 to 4 years old. I started to wonder how lucky I was. I was surrounded by people whom loved me very much. My parent, my grandma, my grandpa, my uncles and aunties. I know I was very naughty when I was child. It makes me become like, every time I saw naughty kids, I was always just like smile and talk to myself.... ok, you still below my level when I was at your age.

I missed a lot of people today, especially my grandma.

I remembered my birthday party when I was in kindergarten. It was like I really want to have a birthday party and I was crying a lot in order to made my grandma realized that idea. I was very happy when all of my childhood friends were coming with their mom and bring me some gift. It took three days until I open all of those gift. I don't know why God give me those very beautiful gift in this life, and I don't want to ask why.

I grew up, experienced another interesting birthday, with my elementary school friends, junior high school friends, senior high school friends, and some friends in university for this last two years. And now, it is my first time to have birthday in another country. It makes me miss a lot of people I loved the most. My mom, my father, my brothers, my very big family. I miss also some closest friends I have. I wish today I can see them even for a second. I want to say that I love them, thank you very much for accompanying me trough this live. Accompanied me to face any sadness and happiness. Help me to grow up and be a good person.

Now I am 21 years old, and I according to plan I will be graduate next year before September, but I still have a lot of things that I want to do. Thank you very much for everyone who pray for me today. I wish the best for you too.

Love,
Fahmi

Read More